she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
