Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
