Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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