It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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