Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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