my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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