Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
