I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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