can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
