I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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