ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
