I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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