i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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