What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
