Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
