Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
