My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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