hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
