oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
