is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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