I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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