gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
