i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
