How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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