you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
