he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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