What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
MIDGETS
????
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
