She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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