I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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