The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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