belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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