About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
