i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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