He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize