He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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