I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
