quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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