She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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