we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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