Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
