I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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