I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
