My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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