you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
