I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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