last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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