You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
