My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
