At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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