Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize