Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
