In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
