did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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