Fine. I'll sleep in my office
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
