Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
