Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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