OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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