its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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