That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
