Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize