just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize