His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
