Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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