one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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