You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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